microwave logic 

the number after 99 is 140, and the number before 100 is 59

description of a hell experience that can be had on earth 

waiting in an urgent care facility lobby to give a urine specimen for a pre-employment drug screen, except you arrived needing to pee and now you're stuck for you don't know how long

Frummidge :mew: boosted

Has anyone else seen this scam?

I had a phone call telling me I’d won £1,000 and tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute concert….

….I had to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.

Frummidge :mew: boosted

Attending the "Employee Appreciation Day" festivities today was weird considering that I plan to have _startling_ news for them next week.

Frummidge :mew: boosted

boost if your name is gato OR you have metal joints OR people can beat you up and earn fifteen silver points

Frummidge :mew: boosted

Posting the word "Buttplug" on twitter as many times as possible.

sex opinion, disclaimer 

Casual sex is nice sometimes.*

*This is a personal opinion and has a good chance of being inapplicable to your situation.

Frummidge :mew: boosted

Birdsite link. Transformation and transgender feels. 

twitter.com/lakehounds/status/

This hit me right now and I wanted to put it out there somewhere but I didn't have any particular reasons for why it hit me. Maybe I am feeling therian today. Maybe I'm just a little down and I liked the celebration of happiness in the moment. Idk.

Frummidge :mew: boosted

we all love "force femmed", but what about "#foss hemmed", which is when you make your own clothes from patterns you download off the internet

Frummidge :mew: boosted
Frummidge :mew: boosted

"Don't burn your bridges" + "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" = "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

"I've got a bridge to sell you" + "Don't burn your bridges" = "I burned a bridge that I'd like to sell you"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" + "I've got a bridge to sell you" = "We'll sell you that bridge when we come to it"

"Don't burn your bridges" + "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" + "I've got a bridge to sell you" = "We'll sell you that bridge w—"

Frummidge :mew: boosted

a dark and gritty reboot is when you turn your computer off and when you turn it on again the screen stays black and it makes weird crunching noises

Frummidge :mew: boosted

Maybe millennials wouldn’t have so much cognitive dissonance if even a single thing we’d been told about the way the world worked was true

Frummidge :mew: boosted

The commonly known deadly sins, apear to be the shadow part of a dualistic archetype array

As pride can be the belief in once self

Pride is seen as bad
Believing in yourself is seen as good

It seems to be a set of dualisms, with 7 sins and 7 virtues

Frummidge :mew: boosted

did y'all hear about the British grocery store that installed some tilework to advertise fractal broccoli, and it was so beautiful it was immediately declared a world heritage site? if you get a chance you should absolutely go see the romanesco fresco at the UNESCO Tesco

Frummidge :mew: boosted

EGS /could/ mean epic game store but it /really/ means el goonish shive

Frummidge :mew: boosted

To my terminal & serial-console using friends, I wish a festive terminus.

To my hard-copy output using friends, I wish you a peaceful printout.

To my screen-reader-using friends, may your Braille output or TTS be blessed.

To my GUI using friends, I wish a merry Xmas.

Frummidge :mew: boosted

oh shit jan misali putting out a video that says "toki pona lesson one"?? hype

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