I've been listening to a book on personality traits and it's hitting way too close to home for me!
For example, I'm the type that tries to avoid confrontations at all costs, even if it means never actually saying anything remotely controversial in public. I fear public backlash.
I think I should try to break my pattern of behaviour more often. Prepare to be insulted! (not really)
Nsfw animation hosting (~)
I really don't know how I want to showcase my animated stuff.
I don't think leaving them to a Mastodon server is a Very Good Idea in the long run.
FA is being FA and doesn't allow videos. (Don't get me started on Flash)
The content may be bit too risque to host on Google.
I even checked PornHub as an option, but it doesn't look it's the sort of stuff they're into.
Kinda wish Tumblr wasn't being a wank. Miss that site.
It usually takes an entire team to produce a nice looking and sounding clip. People who specialize in one area of the production.
So I kinda knew these clips weren't going to look too amazing, lest I spend disproportionate amount of time on them. The Eevee renderer works like a charm for my purposes, but it's kinda struggling with these size differences (SSAO is fixed in meters). I try not to worry about it too much and just produce animation. But I'd lie if it didn't bug me just a wee bit.
I began working on a clip with the little guy fumbling about on top of the big girl and holy shit is it a challenge.
For starters, there's never an even ground that stays still. Any small tweak on the bigger "platform" shifts everything for the teeny POV.
You also need to constantly switch to max subdivisions to make sure the contact points are alright.
But I do kinda enjoy this type of micro tweaking. Gets me into a flow.
So I began reading this book about motivation & what drives people, and it kind of touches a number of things that I've suspected in how I operate.
Most interestingly, positive feedback may be detrimental to how much enjoyment I get from creative doodling. It sets your mind into a feel-good binge, and by extension, set up for disappointment.
Kind of makes me want to disable the comments on my picture posts.
And this will sound horrible but I found it kinda fascinating among everything else going on. I was thinking about stuff the other night that almost, almost got me teary eyed.
And I was feeling almost stoked about it. Like, holy crap, an actual strong emotion coming from a place of personal will!
Well, I got a bit misty eyed at most, but it tried.
Wonder when I became so devoid of emotions.
Life management skills (-)
I've been really letting myself go these couple of months from work related stress. Kinda like, emotional numbness (can't get excited) and disarray (unshaven, forgetting my medication)
Add to that this flu that's gotten us both and I can say I'm not really coming from a strong place right now!
I'm thinking of asking a few weeks of leave just to try get things sorted again, but still have to push one project to completion before that.
Trans relationships, workspaces -?
I always chicken out on talking about Kenny at work. Some of the older friends at the office know that I'm in a relationship w/ a trans man, but I'm not totally open about it. And it upsets me a bit because it's one of the best things I have going in my life and I can only share bits and pieces of it.
I suppose the clever people have put two and two together when I never make mention to my partner's gender, but mostly people just assume.