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Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

How do I even start going about trying to come out as trans? Are there resources for this? How do I even go about describing this? Assume my parents don't have the slighest idea what being trans is, they don't want a daughter all of the sudden, and I more than anything just want to be honest about my mental space with them. I'm drafting a letter to read to them right now, I guess.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness I found PFLAG's "Our Trans Loved Ones" pamphlet (available as a free pdf on their site) to be a useful resource in terms of answering the basic questions constructively and thoroughly, though your mileage may vary!

:trans_heart:

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness I have no actionable advice, but I've heard more then once that the Trevor Project have resources and people who can help with things like this (say, thetrevorproject.org/trvr_supp ) they have a specific angle though (mostly teen and youth), and I have no idea if any of their resources can actually help you. There's also sms/phone help line, so there's that

@rosnovsky The SMS/phone line sounds really interesting. I don't know if I'll try that or not, but it looks like there's a lot of things in general to check out here. Thank you so much 😊

Re: Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness henlo fren :blobwave:

I don't have many resources, but I have a lot of shared experience. If you think talking to someone about it might help, I'm happy to offer. :blobowo:

Re: Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@mawr I will definitely hit you up tomorrow 😊 Thank you so much 😊

Re: Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness you're welcome! ♥

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness do you feel your parents are safe to come out to?

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness this site was a good resource for me.

transgendermap.com/social/comi

Not all the advice is perfect for everyone, but it is such a good place to start.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness maybe you could check with others who have went through this before you. Their is maybe some overlap in situations you could learn from. Whatever you do, know that there are many many people who support you. Take care!
Pinging @paulakreuzer

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness I didn't tell my parents first. I had a group of friends that I came out to which helped boost my confidence. Once I was more confident in myself and my identity, then I talked to them.

It's always hardest to say something to somebody's face, so letters are very helpful. Another thing I did was to eliminate 'maybe' from my talk. I didn't 'think' I was trans, I am Trans.

Feel free to DM me about this if you'd like more info.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@Wayril @MadestMadness I'll second all of this. Especially coming out to friend group first.

Also, I hate that I need to say this -- but if you rely on your parents financially/for shelter, have a plan for is they go totally apeshit. Even if you think they'll be accepting, something as simple as making sure you can stay at a friend's house for a couple days until they calm down can give you some much needed time just in case.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness I dont know but I wish you luck. :heart_trans:

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness honestly I would probably just say that you’re a girl, and then go on about why you feel that way, what it means to you, and how your parents support can help you.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness This might sound a bit unusual, but when I came out I chose the safest person in each social group I was in and came out to them first. Those trusted people became my confidants, and I asked them to back me up as I came out to others.

This pattern allowed me to feel things out before diving in so that I was able to prepare for whatever level of bullshit was coming and/or reassure myself that it would be fine.

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness In the case of family, I'd pick someone who isn't your parents but knows them pretty well first. Ask them for help, because coming out alone is hard, scary, and usually not necessary.

re Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness gosh good luck!!

for what it's worth:

I'm not much for preparing so I just....cried and talked about how I feel and all that and all the things I realized make sense now that I know i'm a girl. I probably repeated myself a lot and it was messy.

After that I did emails/chat for people who weren't local

good luck to you gosh! *hugs if you want 'em*

re Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@SuperCee -hugs- 😊

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness ✊🌈✨

Coming out as trans question, Please boost 

@MadestMadness I don't know if anyone else has said this yet, but my favourite clinician at CHX GIC in London recommends coming out in writing, even over Facebook. He says that it allows parents and other loved ones space to be shocked and process *away from you*, so that they don't respond from a place of shock and say something that would hurt you and that they would regret. It gives them a chance to go off and google things and such, too.

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