Follow

Plurality has got to be one of the hardest identitythings to keep hidden.

Me being a wolf? I can just not talk about it.
Being e.g. gay? You might have to hide your relationships.
Transgender? Better not take steps to fix your body.
But plurality... you've either got to have one person out the whole time, pretend to be someone else if you find yourself out front, or everyone works really hard to maintain the appearance of one person... and regardless, you have to hide your very /existence/.

@IceWolf It's not great. And it's probably far worse for systems more divergent than we are.
-F

@IceWolf you got that exactly right. Cody is almost 99% the person out in our system. That or Tom is pretending to be him for other people... This is one of the first places we have been able to be openly plural. It is exhausting. We have to remember not to say "us" or "we" when pretending to be singular around people off this place...

@subnet @IceWolf Been there, done that. *offers sympathetic hugs* ❤🧡💚💙

@The1AndMany @IceWolf *gets up on my hind legs and falls into you for a hug*

-Cody

*Hugs tight*

-Everyone else

@IceWolf We're out to the majority of people we interact with on a regular basis, like our immediate family, our closest IRL friends, pretty much everyone on here, and, most difficult, our roommate.

But even so, we do still have to be careful. Asking creatures to call us "Rez" and use they/them pronouns makes it sound like we're just non-binary, which is a much easier pill to swallow. We wish we could be out-as-plural-by-default, but that's not gonna happen any time soon, unfortunately.

:/

mild vent, roommate posting 

@IceWolf Also, it doesn't help that our system's legal name is shared by one of our headmates. That confuses things quite a bit when we have to use it.

Our roommate, just yesterday, argued that Sam's the only one he cares about because he's the only one he knows and the one who signs everything. We argued that we've all been talking with him intermittently, depending on whose out at the time. His response? "That's your problem."

-Logan

mild vent, roommate posting 

@IceWolf Yeah. His hot take is that anyone's free to do anything, so long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

What he doesn't get is that he's just as culpable, if not more. All we want is for him to stop calling this body "Sam" by default. He's arguing that infringes on his right to call us whatever he wants. But he doesn't see that he's also infringing on our right to self-expression.

-Logan

mild vent, roommate posting 

@IceWolf (And no, we didn't point this out at the time. We tend to get too upset to point out fallacies in the heat of an argument.)

(And that's another thing. He says he's only discussing because he's not getting upset. Never arguing. But by insisting on doing all this shit that makes us feel bad even when we ask him to stop, he's arguing that his right to do what he wants is greater than our right to feel comfortable around him.)

-Logan

mild vent, roommate posting 

@The1AndMany Wherf.

This is honestly a lot like misgendering, it feels like. Would he misgender a trans person? I bet not.

He's not just Doing His Own Thing; he's /calling you something you don't want to be called/, which is not okay.

And also attempting to forget about the fact that you, y'know, /exist/. *bares teeth a little*

vent, roommate posting, trans folk caught in crossfire 

@IceWolf Actually, we asked him about pronouns before. He said that he wouldn't automatically respect someone asking for different pronouns. He said you'd have to earn his respect for him to call you what you want. Which, one could argue, means he doesn't respect us.

Our roommate is one of those people who thinks they're super enlightened and taking a neutral stance, but really he's just being an asshole.

-Logan

vent, roommate posting, trans folk caught in crossfire 

@The1AndMany Wh...

wh...

yeah, that's... not how pronouns work, dude. What.

vent, roommate posting 

@IceWolf Yeah. And the worst part is that none of us have the guts to say anything to the guy.

Even though we totally should! We pay rent, we're a better-than-average roommate most of the time, you'd think he'd want to at least not be an asshole around us.

All we're asking at this point is not calling us "Sam" by default!

-Logan

Sign in to participate in the conversation
meow.social

This instance is focused around the furry community, and is open to anyone interested in it. It's open to all fluffies and scalies ! ⚠️ We do not accept any form of sponsored content on our site. If you like meow, consider donating something via paypal or Liberapay