Kangaroo Hops @CoyoteWags@meow.social

When a bird steals your stuff, it's a birdglar.

What do you get when you cross a deer with a pecan? A doe nut.

Exactly half a year until Christmas! Now you can officially call those late gifts early!

Someone should walk around shirtless and say "I held a seance, and all I got was this lousy ghost of a T-shirt."

So, if you put pickles on top of a female deer, do you have a dill doe?

And now, the flight of the bumbleteeth! *Flight of the Bumblebee plays while tooth-shaped bees dislodge themselves from their hiding place in an old persons gums and start swarming*

Spoiler: I put it there. :B

There are two kinds of people: those who adjust a crooked piece of lasagna hanging on the wall, and those who ask why it's even on the wall.

Pillsbury Doe Deer

It was the best of times. It was the bratwurst of Times Square.

Let's watch that again!
*camera pans to narrator*
Let's watch that again!
*zooms in on narrator*
Let's watch that again!
*zooms in on zit on narrator*
Let's watch that again!
*zit detaches from face and does a funky little dance*
Now that I would watch again!
*iris out*

I'd like to make a living saying nonsense... I should get into politics! :D

The problem with horse men is that they always have to be the centaur of attention. I'm sorry, that was taurible.

A Okay is the most okay okay. F Okay is not an okay okay, okay?

The booping muscle is called the boopius maximus.

A bad opera singer means a disaster aria on stage.

Do not pour spaghetti sauce on my belly and say "look at that Prego tummy!"

That's when you wake up with jorts on and no memory of the night before.

The proper way to drive a tow truck is with your feet.

I'd like a Sesame Street themed living room so that I can name the sofa Oscar, Oscar the Couch.